Disciplining Your Child at Any Age
Each child is different, but most children need to be given clear rules about behavior. Discipline needs to start as soon as a child is pulling up and crawling. Infants rely on their parents to provide a safe environment. Discipline should be adjusted by the age of your child. And it should teach age-appropriate behaviors.
Things to keep in mind
Some general values about discipline include:
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Be a good role model for your child.
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Try to recognize and praise your child when they are being good.
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Make sure rewards for good behavior happen right away.
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Hug your child after using discipline. Make sure the child knows it’s the behavior you’re not happy with, not your child.
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Don’t use physical punishment.
How to lessen unwanted behavior
Try not to reward a child or give positive support for a bad behavior. For example, if your child is having a tantrum, giving them a cookie to be quiet is a reward for the bad behavior. To help lessen bad behavior, try these tactics:
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Don’t give positive support for bad behavior. Instead, try ignoring the behavior as long as it is not dangerous behavior.
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Have the behavior result in an unpleasant result, such as punishment.
Punishment has 2 forms, including:
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Denying your child privileges or a desired activity. This may be limiting TV or screen time or saying "no" to dessert.
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Requiring an activity that isn’t fun. This may include doing chores or having a “time out.”
A behavior can also have a natural result that’s like punishment. For example, a child who won’t eat may go to bed hungry.
Keep in mind that spanking and other forms of physical punishment aren’t helpful. This type of discipline teaches a child aggressive behavior.
Tips for discipline by age
Discipline often depends on the age of a child, and how much they understand their behavior. These are some tips for discipline by age group.
Babies and toddlers
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Safety is the main concern. Provide a safe environment that decreases the chances of things being broken by the child.
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Babies will respond to a loud, firm voice saying "no."
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After saying "no," direct your child to a good behavior, such as a toy.
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Don’t reward bad behavior. Ignore temper tantrums. But confront other problems, such as biting or hitting.
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Praise and reward good behavior.
Preschoolers
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Preschoolers need clear and consistent rules.
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This age group needs time to get ready for the next activity. Give your child a warning before it’s time to stop playing.
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Preschoolers need lots of explanation as to why things are being done.
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Use time-out for bad behavior. Use 1 minute for each year of age.
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Use praise for good behavior.
School-aged children
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Give your child chances to explain their side and opinion.
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Let your child express their feelings and concerns.
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Give your child choices.
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Give your child chances to help solve problems together regarding their behavior.
Teens
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This age group needs patient and understanding parents. They will test all limits.
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Teens need to be told the long-term outcomes of bad behaviors.
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Teens need to be involved with limit-setting, based on their maturity.
Online Medical Reviewer:
Liora C Adler MD
Online Medical Reviewer:
Raymond Turley Jr PA-C
Online Medical Reviewer:
Stacey Wojcik MBA BSN RN
Date Last Reviewed:
7/1/2023
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